Last night I slept with a great anticipation that this morning the breakfast would be in heaven for that is what the news made me believe in the last few weeks. The end of the world is here and it shall strike on 21 May 2011 claimed a group of Christian fundamentalists thereby generating a mixture of anxiety, fear, sadness, relief, joy among the various human entities depending on the conditions of their living and the quality of their lives. As much as I would like to elaborate on that point I would rather not as all it does is make people sad, angry, anxious, relieved and happy depending on the conditions of their lives and the quality of their living.
So, when I got up this morning (surprise surprise) I was kind of disappointed to see that it was the normal (if I am allowed to use that word) kind of morning and nothing had changed although it did seem a bit sunny which is getting unusual for a Melbourne morning but apart from that zilch...no change! So the optimist that I am I thought I might as well sleep off a little more who knows maybe the second coming of Jesus might just be running on the Indian Standard Time and if there is anything we know about turning up on time is that it is utterly irrelevant. A few hours later, I wake up again to find that nothing has changed, except the sun has disappeared bringing normalcy to the only oddity of the whole situation. So now I am awake wondering if I should have something to eat or not as I really want to try out the menu in Casa Dela Heaven but am also apprehensive if its all going to be just honey and milk as mentioned in the scriptures and being not too an avid fan of the either if I should probably have a snack.
While I decide that, I have to admit that I am utterly disappointed at these hope inspiring yet never actually happening prophecies and that too by different groups. First it was a group of (fundamentalist? or probably just mental) scientists who claimed a reactor would burst wiping out the total population of the world with so much fanfare that my neighbour actually contemplated resigning from his job oblivious to the fact that he was fired for over 6 months (no I don't live next to that guy from the movie Office Space!). That reactor did not burst and the only causality that really occurred was the realisation of the said neighbour finding out he didn't really have a job and his mortgage payment was delayed by a few months.....six to be precise.
So, as we wait for this prophecy to be rubbished I think I am going to go out and have a bit of a party as I somehow still have a life (surprise surprise) even though the world might be coming to an end.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Tales of the Poor
A few years ago an Indian politician and the leader of the second largest political party got into trouble when he uttered the one true and possibly the only logical thing, at least in his political life. That line loosely translated in English is something like, "Money might not be God but by God it isn't less than that either". Well come to think of it, that actually is the literal translation of what he said and I am seriously contemplating a career in translation after this feat.
So you may be wondering where I am going on with this and how does it matter when this was said in what is light years ago in India. Well my dear readers and non-readers, mostly non-readers, the point is that when some blessed people who go around claiming that money doesn't buy happiness they actually mean that "Holy shit I am so broke I need to guilt trip someone so they can give me some money". That my dear friends and non-friends, mostly non-friends (I might have made up that word....may have), is the fact and today that has been validated by none other than the honourable minister of finance or in simple words the Treasurer (of Australia), Mr Wayne Swan who has told us poor, and I mean it in a literal way, souls that you should not be fooling yourself into thinking you are rich even if you are earning $150,000 a year while presenting the budget for the year. I am still trying to figure out what that means for me personally as I am not really close to that mark as yet and if it should really affect me as such considering I was never under the illusion that I am rich. After all if you aren't a Bill Gates, a Steve Jobs or well even a Donald Trump then why would you even bother using a term which changes the bracket more often than a mirage in a desert, just ask one of the Winklevoss twins and they would tell you or probably get a book written and have a movie made and then try to sue the author and the director for taking the idea from them and not giving them the finished product. Zuckerburg meanwhile is multiplying the contentious fortune faster than the rabbits and is reportedly passing on my profile pics to advertisers and actually making money from my face while I am posting pictures taken on a friend's camera as I am too poor, and a tad bit more after today, to actually afford a decent camera.
So my dear poor friends and much more poor friend, mostly much more poor friends, if you really are planning to make it rich, I suggest you do it as a secret sting op rather than announce it to the world because once you have made your intentions public the mirage is going to fade and the bar raised.
So you may be wondering where I am going on with this and how does it matter when this was said in what is light years ago in India. Well my dear readers and non-readers, mostly non-readers, the point is that when some blessed people who go around claiming that money doesn't buy happiness they actually mean that "Holy shit I am so broke I need to guilt trip someone so they can give me some money". That my dear friends and non-friends, mostly non-friends (I might have made up that word....may have), is the fact and today that has been validated by none other than the honourable minister of finance or in simple words the Treasurer (of Australia), Mr Wayne Swan who has told us poor, and I mean it in a literal way, souls that you should not be fooling yourself into thinking you are rich even if you are earning $150,000 a year while presenting the budget for the year. I am still trying to figure out what that means for me personally as I am not really close to that mark as yet and if it should really affect me as such considering I was never under the illusion that I am rich. After all if you aren't a Bill Gates, a Steve Jobs or well even a Donald Trump then why would you even bother using a term which changes the bracket more often than a mirage in a desert, just ask one of the Winklevoss twins and they would tell you or probably get a book written and have a movie made and then try to sue the author and the director for taking the idea from them and not giving them the finished product. Zuckerburg meanwhile is multiplying the contentious fortune faster than the rabbits and is reportedly passing on my profile pics to advertisers and actually making money from my face while I am posting pictures taken on a friend's camera as I am too poor, and a tad bit more after today, to actually afford a decent camera.
So my dear poor friends and much more poor friend, mostly much more poor friends, if you really are planning to make it rich, I suggest you do it as a secret sting op rather than announce it to the world because once you have made your intentions public the mirage is going to fade and the bar raised.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Royal Wedding and a Sea Funeral
This year seems to keep on being eventful for one reason or the other good or bad. This past week added to the list a few things which would be remembered for quite some time to come. The weekend started off with the Royal Wedding and the only way you could have avoided hearing anything about it was if you were a hermit and had no form of communication with the outside world and none whatsoever with women, as every other reference made way to the couple in the midst of the whole drama. The TV ratings would have soared and every single guy in their right mind would have contributed to the National Geo breaking records just to avoid hearing anything about it for at least two weeks prior.
The Seal team the following Monday made sure we would not discuss the royal wedding by gatecrashing the royal couples after party with a groundbreaking, involving a crashing chopper thus giving the term a literal meaning, news by assasinating Americas Public Enemy number One, Saddam Hussein......errr...no sorry that was a couple of years ago, it was Osama Bin Laden this time. Yes, after almost 11 years and 5 reports of him being dead some being of natural causes, the American troops finally won the famous hide and seek game and surprise surprise it didn't come in a cave in the remote hills of Afghanistan but in the dead (no pun intended) silent town of Abbotabad barely a few stones throw away from a military base. Now before we get all judgmental about the mental-lity of the Pakistani Army and it's alleged association with terrorist groups, you have to give all the credit, or whatever you can muster up, to Bin Laden for coming up with the bright idea of building a $1 million mansion right next to the military base for who would have thought the man with the multi million $$ reward on his head would be bunked up at that odd looking expensive compound next door to the base which may I add doesn't even have a proper phone line forget a decent internet connection.
There still seems to be the controversy that all this is just a big gimmick and that it is all but just a ploy to kickstart the re-election campaign and all but lets not get into all that now.
Here's just hoping Hugh Grant doesn't get the idea of script and give us a "Royal Wedding and a Sea Funeral"
The Seal team the following Monday made sure we would not discuss the royal wedding by gatecrashing the royal couples after party with a groundbreaking, involving a crashing chopper thus giving the term a literal meaning, news by assasinating Americas Public Enemy number One, Saddam Hussein......errr...no sorry that was a couple of years ago, it was Osama Bin Laden this time. Yes, after almost 11 years and 5 reports of him being dead some being of natural causes, the American troops finally won the famous hide and seek game and surprise surprise it didn't come in a cave in the remote hills of Afghanistan but in the dead (no pun intended) silent town of Abbotabad barely a few stones throw away from a military base. Now before we get all judgmental about the mental-lity of the Pakistani Army and it's alleged association with terrorist groups, you have to give all the credit, or whatever you can muster up, to Bin Laden for coming up with the bright idea of building a $1 million mansion right next to the military base for who would have thought the man with the multi million $$ reward on his head would be bunked up at that odd looking expensive compound next door to the base which may I add doesn't even have a proper phone line forget a decent internet connection.
There still seems to be the controversy that all this is just a big gimmick and that it is all but just a ploy to kickstart the re-election campaign and all but lets not get into all that now.
Here's just hoping Hugh Grant doesn't get the idea of script and give us a "Royal Wedding and a Sea Funeral"
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