Mad Men and Cars Adverts

There was once a time I actually thought I would get into the world of advertisements, be that creative individual who brought products to life. Before you jump to conclusions and start going "must be a wanna be Don Draper", I would like to add that Mad Men was not made then and it was not for glamor. Turns out I am more functional than creative and looking at the current scene of advertisement that we currently are subjected to makes me glad I didn't go that so assumed "creative" lane.

It was not long ago that you saw commercials both TV and print and chances was you would be entertained, amused and had a feel good factor after watching it. Yeah sure there were those annoying ads which had a voice screaming at you and the balloons shaped people asking you to come down and get the bargain of your life, yes there were even some with men wearing skirts selling flowers and the annoying jingles selling carpets and curtains. Yes, they were still ads that made you cringe but then all of a sudden, you started watching short clips which made you, the consumer, feel like an idiot, it was like all the Ad men really did start thinking of themselves as Don Draper and took everyone including the consumer of the piece they were creating for granted. Some how in the whole realm of things the majority of these ad men seem to have landed up doing jigs for the automobile industry and maybe someone needs to tell the executives in these companies that they are investing their money creating commercials which are putting people off their cars. I have been asking the one question that no one ever seems to answer for me - Does getting a Kia automatically make a guy an asshole who starts to insult the girl he picks up for his first date? Or that car which you miss more than your family when you are stuck on a spaceship in outer space (can I say the way that dude acts, I think it was more of an insult to the spaceship program where ever that was than the actual audience). Or does getting a car of a certain brand , which in this case, is not even yours make you deny its a car but an Alfa Romeo......last I checked lady even an Alfa Romeo had 4 wheels, an engine and a steering wheel and did the same a bloody car does. Then most recently came another gem, which questioned if you in fact were a "yes" man and said yes to your boss, your wife, your work and how about saying No and buying a car....yeah coz in the dramatic financial market, a car is thing to help you with everything considering it depreciates almost 30% as it hits the road from the showroom.

All in all, if you are considering to buy a product and especially if that product happens to be car, don't rely on TV advertisement to sell the best option, it really does seem that the used car salesmen have become wannabe Don Drapers and we are now being subjected to dodgy sales everywhere we look.

Until next time, don't fall prey and keep smiling. :) 

Hello There......

So its been quite some time since I have last updated this space. Yes, I have become busy with that thing called life and in the scheme of all things irrelevant, some things that matter get forgotten. The very few, and I mean very few of the people who actually read what I write have sent me a nudge saying why I had not posted anything new. Well to them I say "Thank You" and the rest who just forgot me, well no hard feelings coz I didn't really remember you either.

So what did we miss while we were on a sabbatical? Oh yes, the end of the world was a dud affair and the only claim to fame for the Mayans is still the chocolate, yes the Mayans were one of the first to bring us the tasty treats (there were also the Aztecs, but Mel Gibson chose the Mayans for Apocalypto and well bad luck Aztecs) so all is forgiven.

There were quite a few things that happened which may not have directly affected us but always leave a mark on us all and no I am not talking about me having to move my apartment although that was one of the things that shook some of us....mainly me...OK only me. I had to move from my ocean view from the 25th floor to an ocean view from the 10th floor in a totally different building. Although the last three false fire alarms in the last 6 weeks has made me feel good about this little shift of floors.

The other things to happen is now I kind of know how twitter works, or so I try to tell myself having been on it for over a year now and it basically is..........you know expressing yourself briefly...very briefly....140 characters to be precise. I could make the excuse of it distracting me from writing but then it would be just that...an excuse. Sometimes, it always good to take a break and come back fresh apart from it being some what of a habit of mine here.

But now I am back I will stay...at least for a couple of months before that thing called life takes over. I don't know about you all, but I have missed you. Until next time, keep smiling. :)  

Where is the Love?

OK not much has changed since I had last written stuff, the time is still ticking, December 2012 is still approaching (not that I care but it seems to rile a few people so why not do it and enjoy the show), Harry is still making news with his costumes or the lack of it this time followed by his sister-in-law being snapped by the French paparazzi who really need stop referring telling the world that they are "Journalists" coz hey every monkey behind a SLR camera is then a photographer (and yes I do not own one of them..as yet), the mother nature throwing up surprises and the general unrest which seems to plague us continuously.
So the other day I was asked the question or well the discussion veered in the following direction -

Person A : "So Asif, being a Muslim, what do you think about all the violence caused by these protest your people are causing the world over...they even killed people in Libya."

So now all of a sudden I have become a spokesperson for about say 1.6 billion of the world's population roughly in that instant where anything I say will be judged on for not only would this reflect my inclination to jump to support "my" people who if I really tally up and my maths ain't the best but I would put it to know about .01% of that number I threw up there somewhere. So anyways I went something like this -

Asif : "Well being a Muslim, I condemn the violence (cause I do and was raised up being taught you don't hurt anyone let alone bring harm to them) but being an avid cinema watcher, documentaries, I can really say that more than being anti-Islamic what that film or if we may even call it that, is nothing but a torture to the human race and these people who are going around being uncivil may just have been victims and prefer going to Guantanamo and being water boarded than be shown whatever it was that was actually produced there."

Now before you turn your judgement in on me and go that violence is not something to joke about, you need to realise a few things and these you need to take in without prejudice, a clear head and calmly -
1. These people who are going violent do not even constituent to the 1% of the total population of "us" Muslims.
2. Most of us, with all our beliefs and what not DO NOT condone violence in any manner or situation but who likes to listen to us as we do not make breaking news, mainly as we remain calm while we go about explaining why we are not a terrorist to deaf ears.
3. We sorta, kinda, maybe did say this but were left unheard when we went "Stop meddling in other people's    country and affairs." The whole Gaddafi killing shenanigan seems like mistake in hindsight now with that the whole country taking things for granted. A bit of our own undoing is it not.

Which then leads me to the point - has anyone even completely watched this movie in question because I tried to catch the trailer just to know what it was that riled "us" to the point of going and rioting and I could not go through the complete a minute something long video which apart from its hate inciting message was a complete insult on the medium of film making with frigid actors, bad visuals, dialogue writing which even a three year old could do a better work on and a concept which was meant to cause the very thing it eventually did, create tension, disharmony and violence. It also has two different voices coming from the same person which sort of goes to the whole concept of possessions but this would be crediting a bit of smartness to this production crew which it obviously lacked.

This whole matter is obviously not gone to rest and it does not matter what one person says or does, the whole concept of labelling us as violent is not going to go away soon and while we sit here and cop that abuse for what a small portion of our community does, the fact is that as long as Religion mixes with Politics we will never see calm and peace and that is how it lies.

Also the next time you ask such questions, I may just be tempted to emulate Harry's act from Vegas which would probably only get me arrested and not famous. If we could vote on this (oxymoron) I would totally vote him in to be the next in line to the throne, the world needs an entertaining King at the moment to save....the....errr...humanity...probably not that but something for sure. Until next time, keep smiling! :)

God's Particle Creates Mass....Dispels the Mermaid Theory

So its has been some time since I have last updated this space but today has been a day full of events and one cannot help but jot down a few words. There has been ground breaking news where in one corner of the world, a group of lab coats almost soiled their pants when they discovered a new particle which kinda sorta, maybe, we really hope it does, resemble the characteristics of the much elusive Higgs-Boson particle also known as the God's particle. The legend has it that this discovery would uncover that mystery of the origin of mass and understand how the universe works. Now I have no idea about the later part but one thing I can tell you is that the origin of mass can pretty much be attributed to deep fried delicacies especially if you add sugar to it, the mass created from these foods are substantial and the evidence is pretty noticeable too. 

So as the world of the scientists take the time off and celebrate, I would have said party yet am not sure how those lot do it as my only insight to this group has been the actors on The Big Bang Theory and they sure as hell do not give a wild impression on their partying style. 

So as the lab junkies go crazy there was however another news that came across to the shores of the land down under this morning and it has moved the floor beneath the most of us, it has been such a shocking revelation that the US government agency itself had to come and make this announcement - Mermaids are not real. Yes, you read that right, mermaids, those half fish, hot hotties that swam around the oceans around the world are in fact just a figment of our imagination and we have been tricked by a very cruel joke. Something which started with Santa not being real (that obviously is as fake a story coz where else would all those presents come from?) to zombies not existing, something that had to be officially announced also after someone high on bath salts went around trying to bite off people's faces, who had a shocked look after sighting a mad naked man running around with bubble effervescing presumably from his mouth (there is no recorded fact of that last bit but am sure the bath salts would have that reaction once it started mixing with the liquids within). 

So while we had a ground breaking discovery which most of us have no clue of, in terms of its effect and importance, we have had years of illusion also shattered by a government agency which deemed it was necessary to let its citizen know in case someone actually started to believe it. While I take some time to digest this fact I am just dreading if there may be any more announcements by these government agencies to discredit the existence of Iron Man and Spider Man and if the world would be safe anymore.

Parallel Universe Vs. Present Plight

Its been long overdue and if you happen to be following me on Facebook and Twitter....I would firstly like to say a big Thank You for not only suffering me on those channels but also having the courage to come and read my blabber more on this platform, and secondly point out my latest obsession on Parallel Universe. Now, if you are confused about or want to know what parallel universe is, this is definitely not the place where you will find that information. So the poor people who Google'd  parallel universe and skipped 70 pages of results to land here are going to be slightly disappointed and well for them I suggest a quick course on "Google for Idiots". So the parallel universe.....in short its the universe which exists where everything you screw up here goes smoothly there, where there are no Monday blues and everyday is a weekend. Where the sun shines and things go as they should.....as they were supposed to go - Perfectly! Yes, it is that fantasy world you wish that existed yet know that all its ever going to be is that thought in your head. So, why am I going on about this you ask.....well for one I can and secondly I have to get over this obsession and so this is where I get rid of all things.....watch that step.
Now lets just account on some of the things which we know would and would not happen in the parallel universe. In the parallel universe the weekends would definitely last longer and Mondays would be the fun day not the mourn day. Your wishes would be granted faster than Aladdin could rub the magic lamp to prompt the Genie. The Genie in the parallel universe would still be as cool.....you can't mess with him coz like it or not you'll never ever get a friend like him. There would be no waiting for hours to receive a reply to a simple text and a "Hey! How are you?" would mean and be taken as "Hey! How are you?". Where life wouldn't be so complicated to the point where your mind just wants to shut down and kill you and where happiness is actually something widespread. Where you can eat any amount of chocolate and sweets without a care in the world and dentists would only exists in fairy tales. Where you wouldn't have to sell your soul to make some cash which ultimately goes back to the entity you sold the soul to.
So this is the point where I am brought back to reality with the whole "But Asif...what would be the point of it all if everything was hunky dory...we would not appreciate it if we had everything....blaah blaah blaah blaah blaah". Seriously in the parallel universe people who say that would be kicked up their backside for being too realistic, for its only a realm of thoughts in our heads and if we can't think of all the positive things without bringing in the exceptions then what's the point of having a parallel universe at all.
So to bring a bit of your parallel universe into this one....do keep smiling! :)

How Stupid is Stupid?

Now none of us can ever say we haven't done anything stupid but lets just ask the question for its out there in the open anyways - How much stupidity does it actually take to make something stupid actually very stupid? I mean getting into a dare at the age of six where you ring some random neighbours door bell at midnight and run like a wild dog is chasing you is kinda stupid but fun. Jumping off a height and thinking you can make it to the ground without a scratch is going a bit further but less fun in hindsight. Getting drunk and trying to steal a penguin from a theme park on the other hand is plain old stupid and that is exactly what two British lads from  tried to do and actually succeeded. Now, I have done pretty stupid things and will continue on doing them as time goes on, but the thought of stealing a penguin or any animal would never ever cross my mind. 

Stupidity is a word that made its way into the English language in 1541, yes we have been officially being termed stupid for quite a few centuries now and have done ourselves no favour whatsoever as time has passed. In fact we may have lowered the standards even more with each century passing by and have come to the era where common sense is more of a privilege skill than an inbuilt functionality. I have never met anyone who hasn't ever tried to touch their tongue on the tip of a battery even though we have seen someone else try it and wince. The fact that reality shows now play such a big factor in our lives is all but a statement depicting our lack of intelligence - how can people making themselves look like idiots become celebrity is a thought that keeps me wondering where the human race is headed. The fact that these shows have insane followers who believe everything that happens on the show and would argue with you if you ever criticised it is what makes me believe that if the Aliens ever invaded our planet they would either -

 

a. Kill themselves for making such a long and labour-intensive trip to conquer a planet that is full of batter licking, penguin stealing, scripted reality shows watching people who would probably kill themselves if you gave them a good spiel about how it would help cure them of something made up on the fly.  

b. Go back to their planet and kill the person who came up with the idea of them travelling all the way to planet earth which is inhabited by loonies who would pay to watch people knock themselves out and go circles in a car going at about 300kmph without a reason.

So the next time you see something stupid, hold up, pay attention, laugh at it, laugh at the person who is doing it and walk on for who knows while you are doing it there may be and the chances are pretty high that someone else would be looking at you laughing.

Till next keep doing stupid things and keep smiling! :)

The Insane Institution called Earth

So the world has got crazier as the years have gone by. This thought has been troubling me since a couple of years and no it doesn't come out like this any given time in my head, no there is always a build up which brings me to this line that "Shit! The world has become a crazier place!". So why am I going on about this you may ask and that is a very valid question since you have made it all the way here to go through another 10 minutes of my verbal distress, and that is not just from me misplacing my verbs and using the adverbs incorrectly. No, I have very valid reasons to start scribbling this thought over digitally (I did previously did the old school method of writing it on a notepad and then reading it and then copying the whole thing here but then I have started to feel a bit ashamed of my abusing those trees that went into creating papers....a sign of growing up I guess....and a lot of other hope) as it affects us all and am sure there have been several instances where you have thought of the same thing but haven't said it out aloud just in case people start looking at you as that lunatic who shouts about the world coming to an end and I mean in the non-hollywood style. Naah man things have become insane, parents have gone soft on their kids, kids are manipulating their parents, companies are throwing random shit at us and we are lapping it up with open arms, we are more excited about reality shows and ignore documentaries that show how we are killing ourselves by killing the environment. We have companies throwing insane marketing campaigns at us like just recently I saw a promotion where Kleenex allows you to send 12 tissues to a friend with personalised messages, yeah you can get your shitty message written on tissues and gift it to a friend coz that the thing that any friend would like. Can you imagine how much advantage it gives the douchebags who break up over a text? They can now send a crappy message on a pack of tissues and think its alright, don't believe me....what n watch. Gone are the days when people got excited about buy 1 get 1 free stuff, no sir today its all about buy something get a totally random shit for free which in all probability you won't use and the only reason they are giving it away is because no one bought it in the first place yet we feel happy. We live in an isolated shelter where people are getting bullied online....yes online..go figure! We are living off prescribed medicines and take advice from magazine columns. Something goes slightly wrong in our lives and we let the whole world know yet have a problem making a phone call to a close friend or family to say hello. We have a fight with someone and you know its a big one when one goes on to unfriend/unfollow the other on a social networking site. There are kids aged 12 who are putting their relationship status as complicated on their facebook page....yeah kid you think its complicated at that age you have no clue what you have coming!

So yeah I think the world has gone all looney all of sudden or perhaps it really wasn't that sudden and I was busy with something else and all of sudden I have come to face this insanity and don't get me wrong I thrive on insane shit, the thoughts in my head...were it to be released out all at once, I would surely be taken to the institution but that's besides the point, I still think in comparison my craziness pales when I look at the kids of today and wonder where they are headed with the tantrums, the spoilt attitude and the protected sheltering of their parents. There is still hope though, and that is for me to lead the world. 

Till next time.....keep smiling! :)