So dumb people use Internet Explorer, how can that be a shocking eye opener is what I am wondering. Let's be honest here, it comes as part of the windows operating system and doesn't involve downloading and installing it.
What I am perplexed about and to me, anyways, seems a no-brainer is what prompted someone to go and do a research on this. Did someone, at a Geek party, getting bored of what the others were discussing, suddenly think "This party is soooo boring, I need to bring in some zest, some fun.....how should I do this? Oh Yeah I know....lets start with Microsoft products, they are always fun to make fun of." and hence started the great debate of which web browser is the best leading to the demographics of the user?
Or did some noob watching TV get bored of watching Harbhajan Singh and Saif Ali Khan constantly annoying him/her asking the question "Have I made it large?" get curious as to what web browser these people used and if their IQ had actually made it large?
Whatever it was, someone (more likely to be more than one) somewhere had to be really really bored to go through with it and not only did they (I use "they" as this could not have been a one mind scam err...I mean scheme) break it down to different web browsers, they actually went ahead comparing the IQ levels of users using different versions of IE and how the gradual updates in the version led to the increase in the IQ levels. So there we go, while you might not be a total fool while using IE9, you still have some way to come up the IQ ratings by using more sophisticated browsers like Firefox, Chrome, Opera and Camino.
So the next time you see someone using Internet Explorer, try not to snigger and judge, just remember the wise word uttered a long time ago by Confucius - "Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change".
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Where Did My Money Go??
The great American Debt crisis, can't come as a shock to many of us for what more could we expect from the nation that gave us our greatest vice - Consumerism. Ah yes, buy stuff that we really didn't need with the money that we really didn't have. It basically took greed and covered it in a nice sugary flavour (or deep fried it in batter for those who don't like sweets) and presented it to us, with the notion that if we didn't spend money the world would come to an end or something to that effect. We got so used to it that we spent money on novelty items such as "Colour Changing LED Rose" or a "Designer Gnome" or a clock that doesn't resemble anything like a clock. We received catalogues for this in the mail, emails, newspapers, online ads. Yes, our emails were cluttered spam mails selling us everything from the novelty items to prescription drugs to pills that could work wonders yet could not be advertised on national television and then there were those emails from the African Royalty. Ah yes, now the African Princes did not want any money from you, in fact they wanted to share their enormous fortune that the silly Government of theirs was trying to steal from them. All they wanted was my bank account, and though it has been over 8-9 years and apart from the bank losing a chunk of my money I am sure the cheque is going to be in the mail any time now.
No, consumerism has not been put to death, its merely taking a bit of a nap right now and probably using the latest dreaming gadget churned out just before the recession hit. So as goes the line made more famous in the Will Smith starer "Independence Day" - It ain't over till the fat lady sings!
No, consumerism has not been put to death, its merely taking a bit of a nap right now and probably using the latest dreaming gadget churned out just before the recession hit. So as goes the line made more famous in the Will Smith starer "Independence Day" - It ain't over till the fat lady sings!
Captain Invincible and the Invisible Vaseline
Cricket is a gentleman's game or so we have been hearing ever since we started watching the game, which of course is pretty much since we were born. Now, I got into cricket pretty late when I was about 13 or maybe 14 since I grew up in a country obsessed with football (soccer to the folks who don't play it). However, with my country of origin it was just a matter of when not if, till I started to follow it religiously and ever since then the thing that comes up is the comment on how gentlemanly the game is. In the last decade give a few more years, the whole playing in the spirit of the game has made a lot of noise with a few teams trying push each other in a corner and win playing on the mind game than by actually playing the actual game. There has been a greater scrutiny of the umpiring and as the game has gone on to be more corporate than just be a sport the stress levels amongst the players and the officials have hit the roof.
Little would Douglas Jardine have known at the time that bowling the bodyline would have the spirit of the game linger on for the rest of the playing history as now everything that can't be controlled by the umpires goes back to the players and how much friendly spirit they show whilst playing.
Having said all that, do players really abide by the whole statement of the game being one of the gentlemen or the whole playing in the spirit of the game? Just a look at the present Test match going on between India and England has given us an indication of the extremities of the way things are played. Michael Vaughan, ex-captain of the English team recently tweeted that VVS Laxman might have applied vaseline to the bat to avoid being detected by the hotspot on the nick that may have been. The fact that the bowler at that time checked the bat (again I suspect the gentlemanly conduct there) and confirmed there was no substance - vaseline, water or otherwise on the bat. The tweet brought a bit of condemnation from the Indian camp with the former captains wondering loudly if Vaughan really knew what he was talking about, only for Vaughan to retort with "where has the humour gone?" response. Now Mr. Vaughan, I might not have played any professional cricket but to accuse a person of cheating is no joke, in any sport or profession for that matter, unless you have some concrete evidence and what you have based it on was as slippery as that alleged vaseline which surprise surprise according to an English camper was mysteriously missing.
Next came an incident where Ian Bell in a world of his own started running amok the field to get to tea before the umpires had called for it and was run out, and from the rule books, it seems was really out. All of a sudden there was a huge discussion about how the dismissal would be in the spirit of the game and if the Indian fielders should have appealed. As, tea got over and the fielders came on the field, we suddenly saw Ian Bell walk out with his bat and it was obvious the appeal was reversed and the Indian camp thought better than to react a la Vaughan and probably allow the game not to be thrown into another controversy. The question that shall probably linger on, is that would England in a similar situation have done the same thing, and even Bell could not give a proper answer to that. Dhoni might have given away the top spot in the Test rankings but he certainly has left cricket a question to ponder whenever, if ever, a situation like this arises again. I would not be surprised to see at least one comment which would go like this "I wonder what Dhoni would have done in this situation". So, after the vaseline-gate there still is hope that Cricket might still have a few gentlemen left in the game and that the spirit of the game might still be going strong.
P.S: A few lines I wrote to share with my friends on facebook about the whole cricket saga from the last two days summed up.
Nasser Hussain : I can't believe the BCCI would have objections to the use of UDRS with Hawk Eye. That is just beyond reproach
Ravi Shastri : I think you are going beyond the boundaries of commenting Nasser.
Ian Bell : I don't care about the UDRS and the umpires any more, I want Dhoni to take decisions on every thing cricket going forward.
Strauss and Flower : Amen!
Little would Douglas Jardine have known at the time that bowling the bodyline would have the spirit of the game linger on for the rest of the playing history as now everything that can't be controlled by the umpires goes back to the players and how much friendly spirit they show whilst playing.
Having said all that, do players really abide by the whole statement of the game being one of the gentlemen or the whole playing in the spirit of the game? Just a look at the present Test match going on between India and England has given us an indication of the extremities of the way things are played. Michael Vaughan, ex-captain of the English team recently tweeted that VVS Laxman might have applied vaseline to the bat to avoid being detected by the hotspot on the nick that may have been. The fact that the bowler at that time checked the bat (again I suspect the gentlemanly conduct there) and confirmed there was no substance - vaseline, water or otherwise on the bat. The tweet brought a bit of condemnation from the Indian camp with the former captains wondering loudly if Vaughan really knew what he was talking about, only for Vaughan to retort with "where has the humour gone?" response. Now Mr. Vaughan, I might not have played any professional cricket but to accuse a person of cheating is no joke, in any sport or profession for that matter, unless you have some concrete evidence and what you have based it on was as slippery as that alleged vaseline which surprise surprise according to an English camper was mysteriously missing.
Next came an incident where Ian Bell in a world of his own started running amok the field to get to tea before the umpires had called for it and was run out, and from the rule books, it seems was really out. All of a sudden there was a huge discussion about how the dismissal would be in the spirit of the game and if the Indian fielders should have appealed. As, tea got over and the fielders came on the field, we suddenly saw Ian Bell walk out with his bat and it was obvious the appeal was reversed and the Indian camp thought better than to react a la Vaughan and probably allow the game not to be thrown into another controversy. The question that shall probably linger on, is that would England in a similar situation have done the same thing, and even Bell could not give a proper answer to that. Dhoni might have given away the top spot in the Test rankings but he certainly has left cricket a question to ponder whenever, if ever, a situation like this arises again. I would not be surprised to see at least one comment which would go like this "I wonder what Dhoni would have done in this situation". So, after the vaseline-gate there still is hope that Cricket might still have a few gentlemen left in the game and that the spirit of the game might still be going strong.
P.S: A few lines I wrote to share with my friends on facebook about the whole cricket saga from the last two days summed up.
Nasser Hussain : I can't believe the BCCI would have objections to the use of UDRS with Hawk Eye. That is just beyond reproach
Ravi Shastri : I think you are going beyond the boundaries of commenting Nasser.
Ian Bell : I don't care about the UDRS and the umpires any more, I want Dhoni to take decisions on every thing cricket going forward.
Strauss and Flower : Amen!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Food Disorder, Fast unto Death and Fools
There was a news article, some days ago, which highlighted how the phenomenon of food disorders like anorexia and bulimia had slowly made way into the world of the mighty male. Food is now making guys squirm rather than tuck right into it and the whole concept of a six pack abs instead of the six course meal is enough to make me queasy. I mean when was the last time, you would have heard someone saying no to.....well to food, any kind! Yes, there were diets for men, where it was advised to stay away from fried and sugary foods, an advise which on the first sight of a bowl of chips or donuts was put to rest till the next time a nagging girlfriend/wife/doctor got on your nerves and the a two day fast had to be acted upon to quell the protests.
Now, word out is, at least on the Indian shores, that after listening to all this nuances or well non-sense some of the people have decided to....following in the steps of that great corruption crusader Baba Ramdev....keep a fast till death till this illness has been stamped out of India. The only thing that has not been confirmed, is if this is even prevalent in India but then of course fasting till death has become a fashion statement in India and that this could be a cause for the the whole panic situation to arise. All this could just be a whole misunderstanding caused from all the fasting done by the Indian men to protest a whole lot of concern, last heard one of my friend had gone on one till his manager gave him a 30% raise after his annual review and that the review be held in a posh restaurant instead of the gloomy meeting room....and after three days and a loss of 5 kilos and total indifferent attitude from management lead him to realise the lost cause and the lost meals and accept whatever was offered and this behaviour not to be taken in account.
Yes, fasting till death or well not even close to near death, is the biggest phenomenon making waves since the LED TVs and it should have everyone excited for about the similar duration of time, a couple of more month, give or take a month.
So the next time someone tells you anything about men giving up food, don't take it seriously, its just some excited person gone on a fast and for all you know will lose a paunch or a kilo at least.
Now, word out is, at least on the Indian shores, that after listening to all this nuances or well non-sense some of the people have decided to....following in the steps of that great corruption crusader Baba Ramdev....keep a fast till death till this illness has been stamped out of India. The only thing that has not been confirmed, is if this is even prevalent in India but then of course fasting till death has become a fashion statement in India and that this could be a cause for the the whole panic situation to arise. All this could just be a whole misunderstanding caused from all the fasting done by the Indian men to protest a whole lot of concern, last heard one of my friend had gone on one till his manager gave him a 30% raise after his annual review and that the review be held in a posh restaurant instead of the gloomy meeting room....and after three days and a loss of 5 kilos and total indifferent attitude from management lead him to realise the lost cause and the lost meals and accept whatever was offered and this behaviour not to be taken in account.
Yes, fasting till death or well not even close to near death, is the biggest phenomenon making waves since the LED TVs and it should have everyone excited for about the similar duration of time, a couple of more month, give or take a month.
So the next time someone tells you anything about men giving up food, don't take it seriously, its just some excited person gone on a fast and for all you know will lose a paunch or a kilo at least.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Mirror Mirror on the Wall, What is the Purpose of this All?
Time and again, every now and then, there is that question which troubles most of us....no I am not referring to the which came first the chicken or the egg, hell I wouldn't give two thoughts about it as long as it is deliciously cooked. No, it isn't why did the chicken cross the road either.....I am seriously starting to feel for the chickens now, not only do they have to turn into food, their every move is under the scanner, the poor critters. The question is "What the hell am I doing with my life", now it doesn't have to be in those same words, some people who try to be sophisticated describe it with "What is the purpose of life", as if putting in those words makes it easier to get the answer to the penultimate question of "Who wants to be a Millionaire" except the winner doesn't get the million dollars but at least knows the "purpose" of their existence.
We all try and cover up this hole in different ways, some mask it with being philosophical about it, some turn to God, some to spirituality, some to drugs, some to things which further confuses the jebesus out of their lives like Scientology, others usually make up for it in the good ol' American way of living.....Consumerism. Oh yeah, God Bless America and consumerism for if we have all the material things in life why else would we be complaining about a question that can't even make you win a million dollars in a reality show where that kid off the slum got nicked by the police for answering all the questions correctly. Oh wait...that was a movie and not real by any accounts, my apologies. Still, buying stuff we don't need and would not use after two days really does solve our problems because for those two days we get so busy trying to work it out we don't have time to think and then comes the part where the credit card bills start to come in and you realise that the thing you just bought requires you to work hard for the next couple of months to pay off keeping you away from the product and in turn from thinking about that dreaded question. When the product is paid off, out comes a new one which you just can't resist but to buy and we are off in the, dare I say, vicious circle.
All this writing really brings me to the question, "why the hell am I writing this?" and if you have read it thus far, this would be the perfect time to start thinking about what in the world were you thinking of continuing to read past the four lines.
In any case, if you do find out the answer to "THE" question, please pass it along, remember you are not going to win a million dollars for it and if you do, it probably is leprechauns gold.
We all try and cover up this hole in different ways, some mask it with being philosophical about it, some turn to God, some to spirituality, some to drugs, some to things which further confuses the jebesus out of their lives like Scientology, others usually make up for it in the good ol' American way of living.....Consumerism. Oh yeah, God Bless America and consumerism for if we have all the material things in life why else would we be complaining about a question that can't even make you win a million dollars in a reality show where that kid off the slum got nicked by the police for answering all the questions correctly. Oh wait...that was a movie and not real by any accounts, my apologies. Still, buying stuff we don't need and would not use after two days really does solve our problems because for those two days we get so busy trying to work it out we don't have time to think and then comes the part where the credit card bills start to come in and you realise that the thing you just bought requires you to work hard for the next couple of months to pay off keeping you away from the product and in turn from thinking about that dreaded question. When the product is paid off, out comes a new one which you just can't resist but to buy and we are off in the, dare I say, vicious circle.
All this writing really brings me to the question, "why the hell am I writing this?" and if you have read it thus far, this would be the perfect time to start thinking about what in the world were you thinking of continuing to read past the four lines.
In any case, if you do find out the answer to "THE" question, please pass it along, remember you are not going to win a million dollars for it and if you do, it probably is leprechauns gold.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
The Apocalyptic Saga
Last night I slept with a great anticipation that this morning the breakfast would be in heaven for that is what the news made me believe in the last few weeks. The end of the world is here and it shall strike on 21 May 2011 claimed a group of Christian fundamentalists thereby generating a mixture of anxiety, fear, sadness, relief, joy among the various human entities depending on the conditions of their living and the quality of their lives. As much as I would like to elaborate on that point I would rather not as all it does is make people sad, angry, anxious, relieved and happy depending on the conditions of their lives and the quality of their living.
So, when I got up this morning (surprise surprise) I was kind of disappointed to see that it was the normal (if I am allowed to use that word) kind of morning and nothing had changed although it did seem a bit sunny which is getting unusual for a Melbourne morning but apart from that zilch...no change! So the optimist that I am I thought I might as well sleep off a little more who knows maybe the second coming of Jesus might just be running on the Indian Standard Time and if there is anything we know about turning up on time is that it is utterly irrelevant. A few hours later, I wake up again to find that nothing has changed, except the sun has disappeared bringing normalcy to the only oddity of the whole situation. So now I am awake wondering if I should have something to eat or not as I really want to try out the menu in Casa Dela Heaven but am also apprehensive if its all going to be just honey and milk as mentioned in the scriptures and being not too an avid fan of the either if I should probably have a snack.
While I decide that, I have to admit that I am utterly disappointed at these hope inspiring yet never actually happening prophecies and that too by different groups. First it was a group of (fundamentalist? or probably just mental) scientists who claimed a reactor would burst wiping out the total population of the world with so much fanfare that my neighbour actually contemplated resigning from his job oblivious to the fact that he was fired for over 6 months (no I don't live next to that guy from the movie Office Space!). That reactor did not burst and the only causality that really occurred was the realisation of the said neighbour finding out he didn't really have a job and his mortgage payment was delayed by a few months.....six to be precise.
So, as we wait for this prophecy to be rubbished I think I am going to go out and have a bit of a party as I somehow still have a life (surprise surprise) even though the world might be coming to an end.
So, when I got up this morning (surprise surprise) I was kind of disappointed to see that it was the normal (if I am allowed to use that word) kind of morning and nothing had changed although it did seem a bit sunny which is getting unusual for a Melbourne morning but apart from that zilch...no change! So the optimist that I am I thought I might as well sleep off a little more who knows maybe the second coming of Jesus might just be running on the Indian Standard Time and if there is anything we know about turning up on time is that it is utterly irrelevant. A few hours later, I wake up again to find that nothing has changed, except the sun has disappeared bringing normalcy to the only oddity of the whole situation. So now I am awake wondering if I should have something to eat or not as I really want to try out the menu in Casa Dela Heaven but am also apprehensive if its all going to be just honey and milk as mentioned in the scriptures and being not too an avid fan of the either if I should probably have a snack.
While I decide that, I have to admit that I am utterly disappointed at these hope inspiring yet never actually happening prophecies and that too by different groups. First it was a group of (fundamentalist? or probably just mental) scientists who claimed a reactor would burst wiping out the total population of the world with so much fanfare that my neighbour actually contemplated resigning from his job oblivious to the fact that he was fired for over 6 months (no I don't live next to that guy from the movie Office Space!). That reactor did not burst and the only causality that really occurred was the realisation of the said neighbour finding out he didn't really have a job and his mortgage payment was delayed by a few months.....six to be precise.
So, as we wait for this prophecy to be rubbished I think I am going to go out and have a bit of a party as I somehow still have a life (surprise surprise) even though the world might be coming to an end.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Tales of the Poor
A few years ago an Indian politician and the leader of the second largest political party got into trouble when he uttered the one true and possibly the only logical thing, at least in his political life. That line loosely translated in English is something like, "Money might not be God but by God it isn't less than that either". Well come to think of it, that actually is the literal translation of what he said and I am seriously contemplating a career in translation after this feat.
So you may be wondering where I am going on with this and how does it matter when this was said in what is light years ago in India. Well my dear readers and non-readers, mostly non-readers, the point is that when some blessed people who go around claiming that money doesn't buy happiness they actually mean that "Holy shit I am so broke I need to guilt trip someone so they can give me some money". That my dear friends and non-friends, mostly non-friends (I might have made up that word....may have), is the fact and today that has been validated by none other than the honourable minister of finance or in simple words the Treasurer (of Australia), Mr Wayne Swan who has told us poor, and I mean it in a literal way, souls that you should not be fooling yourself into thinking you are rich even if you are earning $150,000 a year while presenting the budget for the year. I am still trying to figure out what that means for me personally as I am not really close to that mark as yet and if it should really affect me as such considering I was never under the illusion that I am rich. After all if you aren't a Bill Gates, a Steve Jobs or well even a Donald Trump then why would you even bother using a term which changes the bracket more often than a mirage in a desert, just ask one of the Winklevoss twins and they would tell you or probably get a book written and have a movie made and then try to sue the author and the director for taking the idea from them and not giving them the finished product. Zuckerburg meanwhile is multiplying the contentious fortune faster than the rabbits and is reportedly passing on my profile pics to advertisers and actually making money from my face while I am posting pictures taken on a friend's camera as I am too poor, and a tad bit more after today, to actually afford a decent camera.
So my dear poor friends and much more poor friend, mostly much more poor friends, if you really are planning to make it rich, I suggest you do it as a secret sting op rather than announce it to the world because once you have made your intentions public the mirage is going to fade and the bar raised.
So you may be wondering where I am going on with this and how does it matter when this was said in what is light years ago in India. Well my dear readers and non-readers, mostly non-readers, the point is that when some blessed people who go around claiming that money doesn't buy happiness they actually mean that "Holy shit I am so broke I need to guilt trip someone so they can give me some money". That my dear friends and non-friends, mostly non-friends (I might have made up that word....may have), is the fact and today that has been validated by none other than the honourable minister of finance or in simple words the Treasurer (of Australia), Mr Wayne Swan who has told us poor, and I mean it in a literal way, souls that you should not be fooling yourself into thinking you are rich even if you are earning $150,000 a year while presenting the budget for the year. I am still trying to figure out what that means for me personally as I am not really close to that mark as yet and if it should really affect me as such considering I was never under the illusion that I am rich. After all if you aren't a Bill Gates, a Steve Jobs or well even a Donald Trump then why would you even bother using a term which changes the bracket more often than a mirage in a desert, just ask one of the Winklevoss twins and they would tell you or probably get a book written and have a movie made and then try to sue the author and the director for taking the idea from them and not giving them the finished product. Zuckerburg meanwhile is multiplying the contentious fortune faster than the rabbits and is reportedly passing on my profile pics to advertisers and actually making money from my face while I am posting pictures taken on a friend's camera as I am too poor, and a tad bit more after today, to actually afford a decent camera.
So my dear poor friends and much more poor friend, mostly much more poor friends, if you really are planning to make it rich, I suggest you do it as a secret sting op rather than announce it to the world because once you have made your intentions public the mirage is going to fade and the bar raised.
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