Its that time of the year again, the time when you are still squeamish at the sight of food, the time when that piece of chocolate that once looked tempting now makes you gag, that time when the post festivity tummy just keeps telling you to stop and have a look at yourself....in the mirror preferably.
Its that time of the year when you start telling things to yourself....no I am not talking about the voices in the head...that is very normal and happens all round the year. Now before you start the whole self-realization-y (yes I did use the z instead of the s because this new continent has ruined my English but fret not my Oxford linguists this is but just a slight aberration from the normal) thingy, please note that there is another day left to enjoy before the whole madness of making a list to enhance (I could have used the word "better" but screw you I just used the word aberration and I don't even know what that means but it sounds really fancy) yourself starts and you get lost in the motivational posters plastered all across the social media sites you frequently visit. You would have effectively blown away your first resolution that to limit your time on the social media sites because how else would you let your friends and random strangers know that you have resolutions for this new coming year! Where will you post these amazing motivational memes that you worked so hard to find to state "That the time spent with your close friends far outweigh that spent in front of the monitor".
If you did in fact go and look in the mirror you might want to join the gym, yes this is perhaps the best time to own/run/scam a gym and then you can close it around April by paying out those two annoying sign-ups who persist on coming out to work out inspite of the honeymoon period being over. This will also be a time when the vegetable stocks will be bullish (wait bull is the the good upward one and bear is the snoozey falling one right?) and we will all go on this Paleo/Clean Eating/Juicing/Hunter Gatherer stuff and after a week of eating non fried fast foods will hate themselves and everyone around them because if it was not for people why would I even want to look good? By the way liking more people will still not figure on this list because no one likes people anyways....all they do is complain and shout and yell and wallow. No liking people is not going to be on the list and deservedly so.
Now before you feel all dejected and dastardly.....I swear I did not just buy a dictionary and these words are just coming through my head by itself....don't lose hope, for hope is what makes the world go round...yes hope and money because I am not even remotely going to challenge Liza Minnelli on this. So here's hoping that in the New Year we set out and achieve what we want (terms and conditions apply), that we do start to like people and cut down on the hate; that we do strive to be healthy and fit but do it for ourselves than to show it to others, that we do love the things that are important to us and ensure we get them. That this new year will have (profanity alert) has a lot more of "fuck yeahs!" and a lot less of "fuck this!" and that common sense prevails over the rabid hatred.
I hope you all have had a great holiday season and have a great year coming ahead and keep smiling. :)
P.S: I do know what aberration means but then that could be an aberration in itself.
Its that time of the year when you start telling things to yourself....no I am not talking about the voices in the head...that is very normal and happens all round the year. Now before you start the whole self-realization-y (yes I did use the z instead of the s because this new continent has ruined my English but fret not my Oxford linguists this is but just a slight aberration from the normal) thingy, please note that there is another day left to enjoy before the whole madness of making a list to enhance (I could have used the word "better" but screw you I just used the word aberration and I don't even know what that means but it sounds really fancy) yourself starts and you get lost in the motivational posters plastered all across the social media sites you frequently visit. You would have effectively blown away your first resolution that to limit your time on the social media sites because how else would you let your friends and random strangers know that you have resolutions for this new coming year! Where will you post these amazing motivational memes that you worked so hard to find to state "That the time spent with your close friends far outweigh that spent in front of the monitor".
If you did in fact go and look in the mirror you might want to join the gym, yes this is perhaps the best time to own/run/scam a gym and then you can close it around April by paying out those two annoying sign-ups who persist on coming out to work out inspite of the honeymoon period being over. This will also be a time when the vegetable stocks will be bullish (wait bull is the the good upward one and bear is the snoozey falling one right?) and we will all go on this Paleo/Clean Eating/Juicing/Hunter Gatherer stuff and after a week of eating non fried fast foods will hate themselves and everyone around them because if it was not for people why would I even want to look good? By the way liking more people will still not figure on this list because no one likes people anyways....all they do is complain and shout and yell and wallow. No liking people is not going to be on the list and deservedly so.
Now before you feel all dejected and dastardly.....I swear I did not just buy a dictionary and these words are just coming through my head by itself....don't lose hope, for hope is what makes the world go round...yes hope and money because I am not even remotely going to challenge Liza Minnelli on this. So here's hoping that in the New Year we set out and achieve what we want (terms and conditions apply), that we do start to like people and cut down on the hate; that we do strive to be healthy and fit but do it for ourselves than to show it to others, that we do love the things that are important to us and ensure we get them. That this new year will have (profanity alert) has a lot more of "fuck yeahs!" and a lot less of "fuck this!" and that common sense prevails over the rabid hatred.
I hope you all have had a great holiday season and have a great year coming ahead and keep smiling. :)
P.S: I do know what aberration means but then that could be an aberration in itself.
