Saturday, September 15, 2012

Where is the Love?

OK not much has changed since I had last written stuff, the time is still ticking, December 2012 is still approaching (not that I care but it seems to rile a few people so why not do it and enjoy the show), Harry is still making news with his costumes or the lack of it this time followed by his sister-in-law being snapped by the French paparazzi who really need stop referring telling the world that they are "Journalists" coz hey every monkey behind a SLR camera is then a photographer (and yes I do not own one of them..as yet), the mother nature throwing up surprises and the general unrest which seems to plague us continuously.
So the other day I was asked the question or well the discussion veered in the following direction -

Person A : "So Asif, being a Muslim, what do you think about all the violence caused by these protest your people are causing the world over...they even killed people in Libya."

So now all of a sudden I have become a spokesperson for about say 1.6 billion of the world's population roughly in that instant where anything I say will be judged on for not only would this reflect my inclination to jump to support "my" people who if I really tally up and my maths ain't the best but I would put it to know about .01% of that number I threw up there somewhere. So anyways I went something like this -

Asif : "Well being a Muslim, I condemn the violence (cause I do and was raised up being taught you don't hurt anyone let alone bring harm to them) but being an avid cinema watcher, documentaries, I can really say that more than being anti-Islamic what that film or if we may even call it that, is nothing but a torture to the human race and these people who are going around being uncivil may just have been victims and prefer going to Guantanamo and being water boarded than be shown whatever it was that was actually produced there."

Now before you turn your judgement in on me and go that violence is not something to joke about, you need to realise a few things and these you need to take in without prejudice, a clear head and calmly -
1. These people who are going violent do not even constituent to the 1% of the total population of "us" Muslims.
2. Most of us, with all our beliefs and what not DO NOT condone violence in any manner or situation but who likes to listen to us as we do not make breaking news, mainly as we remain calm while we go about explaining why we are not a terrorist to deaf ears.
3. We sorta, kinda, maybe did say this but were left unheard when we went "Stop meddling in other people's    country and affairs." The whole Gaddafi killing shenanigan seems like mistake in hindsight now with that the whole country taking things for granted. A bit of our own undoing is it not.

Which then leads me to the point - has anyone even completely watched this movie in question because I tried to catch the trailer just to know what it was that riled "us" to the point of going and rioting and I could not go through the complete a minute something long video which apart from its hate inciting message was a complete insult on the medium of film making with frigid actors, bad visuals, dialogue writing which even a three year old could do a better work on and a concept which was meant to cause the very thing it eventually did, create tension, disharmony and violence. It also has two different voices coming from the same person which sort of goes to the whole concept of possessions but this would be crediting a bit of smartness to this production crew which it obviously lacked.

This whole matter is obviously not gone to rest and it does not matter what one person says or does, the whole concept of labelling us as violent is not going to go away soon and while we sit here and cop that abuse for what a small portion of our community does, the fact is that as long as Religion mixes with Politics we will never see calm and peace and that is how it lies.

Also the next time you ask such questions, I may just be tempted to emulate Harry's act from Vegas which would probably only get me arrested and not famous. If we could vote on this (oxymoron) I would totally vote him in to be the next in line to the throne, the world needs an entertaining King at the moment to save....the....errr...humanity...probably not that but something for sure. Until next time, keep smiling! :)



Wednesday, July 4, 2012

God's Particle Creates Mass....Dispels the Mermaid Theory

So its has been some time since I have last updated this space but today has been a day full of events and one cannot help but jot down a few words. There has been ground breaking news where in one corner of the world, a group of lab coats almost soiled their pants when they discovered a new particle which kinda sorta, maybe, we really hope it does, resemble the characteristics of the much elusive Higgs-Boson particle also known as the God's particle. The legend has it that this discovery would uncover that mystery of the origin of mass and understand how the universe works. Now I have no idea about the later part but one thing I can tell you is that the origin of mass can pretty much be attributed to deep fried delicacies especially if you add sugar to it, the mass created from these foods are substantial and the evidence is pretty noticeable too. 
So as the world of the scientists take the time off and celebrate, I would have said party yet am not sure how those lot do it as my only insight to this group has been the actors on The Big Bang Theory and they sure as hell do not give a wild impression on their partying style. 
So as the lab junkies go crazy there was however another news that came across to the shores of the land down under this morning and it has moved the floor beneath the most of us, it has been such a shocking revelation that the US government agency itself had to come and make this announcement - Mermaids are not real. Yes, you read that right, mermaids, those half fish, hot hotties that swam around the oceans around the world are in fact just a figment of our imagination and we have been tricked by a very cruel joke. Something which started with Santa not being real (that obviously is as fake a story coz where else would all those presents come from?) to zombies not existing, something that had to be officially announced also after someone high on bath salts went around trying to bite off people's faces, who had a shocked look after sighting a mad naked man running around with bubble effervescing presumably from his mouth (there is no recorded fact of that last bit but am sure the bath salts would have that reaction once it started mixing with the liquids within). 
So while we had a ground breaking discovery which most of us have no clue of, in terms of its effect and importance, we have had years of illusion also shattered by a government agency which deemed it was necessary to let its citizen know in case someone actually started to believe it. While I take some time to digest this fact I am just dreading if there may be any more announcements by these government agencies to discredit the existence of Iron Man and Spider Man and if the world would be safe anymore.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Parallel Universe Vs. Present Plight

Its been long overdue and if you happen to be following me on Facebook and Twitter....I would firstly like to say a big Thank You for not only suffering me on those channels but also having the courage to come and read my blabber more on this platform, and secondly point out my latest obsession on Parallel Universe. Now, if you are confused about or want to know what parallel universe is, this is definitely not the place where you will find that information. So the poor people who Google'd  parallel universe and skipped 70 pages of results to land here are going to be slightly disappointed and well for them I suggest a quick course on "Google for Idiots". So the parallel universe.....in short its the universe which exists where everything you screw up here goes smoothly there, where there are no Monday blues and everyday is a weekend. Where the sun shines and things go as they should.....as they were supposed to go - Perfectly! Yes, it is that fantasy world you wish that existed yet know that all its ever going to be is that thought in your head. So, why am I going on about this you ask.....well for one I can and secondly I have to get over this obsession and so this is where I get rid of all things.....watch that step.
Now lets just account on some of the things which we know would and would not happen in the parallel universe. In the parallel universe the weekends would definitely last longer and Mondays would be the fun day not the mourn day. Your wishes would be granted faster than Aladdin could rub the magic lamp to prompt the Genie. The Genie in the parallel universe would still be as cool.....you can't mess with him coz like it or not you'll never ever get a friend like him. There would be no waiting for hours to receive a reply to a simple text and a "Hey! How are you?" would mean and be taken as "Hey! How are you?". Where life wouldn't be so complicated to the point where your mind just wants to shut down and kill you and where happiness is actually something widespread. Where you can eat any amount of chocolate and sweets without a care in the world and dentists would only exists in fairy tales. Where you wouldn't have to sell your soul to make some cash which ultimately goes back to the entity you sold the soul to.
So this is the point where I am brought back to reality with the whole "But Asif...what would be the point of it all if everything was hunky dory...we would not appreciate it if we had everything....blaah blaah blaah blaah blaah". Seriously in the parallel universe people who say that would be kicked up their backside for being too realistic, for its only a realm of thoughts in our heads and if we can't think of all the positive things without bringing in the exceptions then what's the point of having a parallel universe at all.
So to bring a bit of your parallel universe into this one....do keep smiling! :)

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

How Stupid is Stupid?

Now none of us can ever say we haven't done anything stupid but lets just ask the question for its out there in the open anyways - How much stupidity does it actually take to make something stupid actually very stupid? I mean getting into a dare at the age of six where you ring some random neighbours door bell at midnight and run like a wild dog is chasing you is kinda stupid but fun. Jumping off a height and thinking you can make it to the ground without a scratch is going a bit further but less fun in hindsight. Getting drunk and trying to steal a penguin from a theme park on the other hand is plain old stupid and that is exactly what two British lads from  tried to do and actually succeeded. Now, I have done pretty stupid things and will continue on doing them as time goes on, but the thought of stealing a penguin or any animal would never ever cross my mind. 
Stupidity is a word that made its way into the English language in 1541, yes we have been officially being termed stupid for quite a few centuries now and have done ourselves no favour whatsoever as time has passed. In fact we may have lowered the standards even more with each century passing by and have come to the era where common sense is more of a privilege skill than an inbuilt functionality. I have never met anyone who hasn't ever tried to touch their tongue on the tip of a battery even though we have seen someone else try it and wince. The fact that reality shows now play such a big factor in our lives is all but a statement depicting our lack of intelligence - how can people making themselves look like idiots become celebrity is a thought that keeps me wondering where the human race is headed. The fact that these shows have insane followers who believe everything that happens on the show and would argue with you if you ever criticised it is what makes me believe that if the Aliens ever invaded our planet they would either -
 
a. Kill themselves for making such a long and labour-intensive trip to conquer a planet that is full of batter licking, penguin stealing, scripted reality shows watching people who would probably kill themselves if you gave them a good spiel about how it would help cure them of something made up on the fly.  

b. Go back to their planet and kill the person who came up with the idea of them travelling all the way to planet earth which is inhabited by loonies who would pay to watch people knock themselves out and go circles in a car going at about 300kmph without a reason.

So the next time you see something stupid, hold up, pay attention, laugh at it, laugh at the person who is doing it and walk on for who knows while you are doing it there may be and the chances are pretty high that someone else would be looking at you laughing.
Till next keep doing stupid things and keep smiling! :)

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Insane Institution called Earth

So the world has got crazier as the years have gone by. This thought has been troubling me since a couple of years and no it doesn't come out like this any given time in my head, no there is always a build up which brings me to this line that "Shit! The world has become a crazier place!". So why am I going on about this you may ask and that is a very valid question since you have made it all the way here to go through another 10 minutes of my verbal distress, and that is not just from me misplacing my verbs and using the adverbs incorrectly. No, I have very valid reasons to start scribbling this thought over digitally (I did previously did the old school method of writing it on a notepad and then reading it and then copying the whole thing here but then I have started to feel a bit ashamed of my abusing those trees that went into creating papers....a sign of growing up I guess....and a lot of other hope) as it affects us all and am sure there have been several instances where you have thought of the same thing but haven't said it out aloud just in case people start looking at you as that lunatic who shouts about the world coming to an end and I mean in the non-hollywood style. Naah man things have become insane, parents have gone soft on their kids, kids are manipulating their parents, companies are throwing random shit at us and we are lapping it up with open arms, we are more excited about reality shows and ignore documentaries that show how we are killing ourselves by killing the environment. We have companies throwing insane marketing campaigns at us like just recently I saw a promotion where Kleenex allows you to send 12 tissues to a friend with personalised messages, yeah you can get your shitty message written on tissues and gift it to a friend coz that the thing that any friend would like. Can you imagine how much advantage it gives the douchebags who break up over a text? They can now send a crappy message on a pack of tissues and think its alright, don't believe me....what n watch. Gone are the days when people got excited about buy 1 get 1 free stuff, no sir today its all about buy something get a totally random shit for free which in all probability you won't use and the only reason they are giving it away is because no one bought it in the first place yet we feel happy. We live in an isolated shelter where people are getting bullied online....yes online..go figure! We are living off prescribed medicines and take advice from magazine columns. Something goes slightly wrong in our lives and we let the whole world know yet have a problem making a phone call to a close friend or family to say hello. We have a fight with someone and you know its a big one when one goes on to unfriend/unfollow the other on a social networking site. There are kids aged 12 who are putting their relationship status as complicated on their facebook page....yeah kid you think its complicated at that age you have no clue what you have coming!
So yeah I think the world has gone all looney all of sudden or perhaps it really wasn't that sudden and I was busy with something else and all of sudden I have come to face this insanity and don't get me wrong I thrive on insane shit, the thoughts in my head...were it to be released out all at once, I would surely be taken to the institution but that's besides the point, I still think in comparison my craziness pales when I look at the kids of today and wonder where they are headed with the tantrums, the spoilt attitude and the protected sheltering of their parents. There is still hope though, and that is for me to lead the world. 
Till next time.....keep smiling! :)

Monday, April 16, 2012

The Chiro, the X-Ray and the Wrongly Tied Gown

A couple of weeks ago, in another out of the blue moment, aided with the campaign that my workplace was doing along with this chiropractic company, I decided to register to see a chiropractor. Now lets admit it I am growing a bit old and the fact that I twist and turn a few of my joints now and then had me thinking that why not get a check and see how the other joints along with my spine is doing. So, I turned up at the their office on the day of the appointment where after a few resistant exercise I was told that there "may be" a few knots spread around the base of my neck, lower back and the hip region and needed to get a full spinal x-ray before the actual assessment began. Now, the last time I remember getting an x-ray done was about 10 years back and that was for the hand and fingers none of which was broken and the whole process took all but 10 minutes. Taking this as a cue, I waltzed to the place where the radiologist very spiritedly told me that the full spinal x-ray consists of getting at least 7 shots taken starting from the neck all the way down to the hips and threw me one of the apron/gown thingies to wear, now I have been to the hospital a couple of times but what puzzles me is do these things go from the front back or do they go back to front? They are definitely not robes so they wouldn't be wrapped to the front but how can one wrap it backwards and ensure they are wrapped properly, anyhow I managed to wrap it around and then was asked to stand in front of an instrument with another instrument beaming light at me which in fact was dividing my body into different parts, something which kinda creeped me a bit. The other discerning aspect was being told to stay still, a thing that when instructed always makes me move a lot more than I usually do. Then came the final blow, I was asked to stand sideways for them to take the shot of the spine from the side I am assuming, but it finally dawned on me that, even though I have never ever made it there, this would be how criminals are photographed when they are sentenced (albeit I was missing the board with the number) and I then started to wonder if this chiropractor visit is worth it or is it just leading me on to things that I should stay away from.....like committing crime. For why would I have to experience flashing lights at me in different directions (no I definitely did not feel like a model in a blue gown, most likely tied up the wrong way). Now, before I decide to give up on this chiropractic experience I may end up going for at least one more visit to view these x-rays if not anything, and probably with a serious face and sombre expression ask the chiropractor "So tell me, what is wrong with me?" to which I shall receive the usual spiel of the knots in the muscles surrounding the spine which shall go away with the right exercise.
Why do I do these things? Just for the love of something different to do! :)

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Voicemail - The Annoying Voice of Technology

I was watching a movie from the 90s a couple of days back and noticed how the mobile phone in one scene resembled a brick and carrying one in a hand looked heavier than holding a pistol and wondered how far we have come in terms of mobile technology. There was a time when we had to use pay phones...(yeah remember them? you used coins to make phone calls....) to call someone when we were outside but then things changed, there was suddenly a mobile on everyone and we all became connected, the spiders had to suffer another setback after we started calling the internet web we entangled another mesh of networks and used their designs (good thing they can't sue the human race.....as yet) and made another web of communication and as time went on we progressed on this and got the "web" on the mobile phones and were suddenly hit with the smart phones. These phones did everything, helped make calls, text people, listen to music, browse the net, check mails, turned into a clock, an alarm clock, a personal organiser and now even has an assistant. I love all these functionality except, yes there is always an exception to everything, the world came up with the word "but" for a reason and that was whatever we do or happens, there will always be something which is going to piss us off, its in our nature. So keeping in check with the norm (a feat in itself in my case if you know me) I will say that I have a problem with the smart phones and no its not the network, that does not irk me but what does is that silly feature called "Voicemail". Yes, I had never liked the concept of message-banks on the land-line and when it turned into voicemail on the mobile platform it remained my pet peeve. I do not see any productive use of listening to a message which:
a. is usually left with a tone that is either rushed up as if you only have 30 seconds left to live and the information 
    you give out will solve your murder mystery or is mumbled across leading to the next point
b. is soo incomprehensible that you wonder if a 2 year old was talking in the phone
c. has nothing but a person breathing through the phone, kind of like someone trying to stalk you...just that hello 
   your number shows up and if I have you on my contact list so does your name = FAIL
e. there is silence and not like the one of the lambs........

The other thing you realise is that not only are you left disappointed going through retrieving these messages, the service provider actually charges you to access these lame messages adding up to the cost of making those "dropped" calls that the network issues very conveniently address. In a world where every person who has a mobile phone is efficient enough to use the SMS functionality why do we still stick with this utter rubbish function which the majority of public hate. I mean I have never heard someone get excited and go "Wow!! I have got a voicemail!!!", not one and anyone you ask always goes "I HATE IT!! Send me a freakin text instead!!". 
So the next time you hit my recorded message, please don't go on what I am saying there, all I mean is "I really don't care about if you leave a message or not, just send me a text and I will reply, if I already haven't after looking at the missed call." Until next time, keep smiling! :)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Early to Bed Early to Rise........keeps you out of mindless shit!

There is an old saying that nothing good ever happens late at night or wait was it nothing good ever happens after midnight. Well its an old saying and so pinpointing the exact hour of the lateness of the night can be lost in the era but the fact remains that if you want to do anything you should probably do it by 10 pm and after that just don't bother. Now, as everyone I learn a lot of these things by making the mistake of committing the mistake and then learning and then forgetting I had already come across that learning and re-learning it all over again. Yeah when man must have made fire it wouldn't have been burn and learn, it probably was burn and learn and burn more and learn...well pretty much the same thing that it stings worse if not dealt with quickly. So why the sudden preaching of going to bed early from a person who is a self confessed late night owl and over the years gone has for some reason got the symptoms of insomnia. Well it so happens that the weekend gone by I made the mistake of calling up home late at night (2 am to be precise) and during the conversation use a few words (no not bad ones) which were not very distinguished and could have insulted the said parties (and no they were not to my family members) and in the next 24 hours all hell had broken loose. There had been suggestions that I was turning arrogant and that I should grow up and be mature and responsible, something which I have no clue as to why it is thrown at me for I am usually good at being mature and responsible and living on my own for the last 10 years have not really done anything that can be labelled a "crisis" or even a "catastrophe", so it amuses me when I am told that I need to grow up coming from my parents, sisters, friends or the ones that got away (left me due to my childish behaviour apparently). So, why is it that people get too serious, if someone who's awake at 2 am which he/she shouldn't be and talking on the phone which again should be a no-no, and hold the words said at that time in a way that it means a decision has been taken? Anything said after midnight should be not be taken at face value unless or until a disclaimer has been issued saying that the person has taken an oath to say the truth, nothing but the truth and if that the words uttered then can be used in the court of law or any argument or debate going forward, only and only if the disclaimer comes first followed by the statement otherwise all is void. Actually that seems like an idea that should be passed through the parliament and made into a law so then no one can ever get into trouble over something that happened late at night. The amount of stupid on the spur of the moment drunk marriages in Vegas and else where would be solved without being a legal nightmare, why I use that example I have no idea, its not like I am remotely interested in doing anything of the sort (marriage being another reason why I get told to grow up and be mature and responsible....a theory which looking at a number of people can be proved to be a myth). So the next time you are up late and up to no good, look at the time and if it is past midnight remember the shoe thing only happens in fairy tales and in real life you will just have a mess to clean up. Until next time, keep smiling and sleep early! :)

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Taming the Train of Thoughts

So, as usual, there has been a zillion things going through my head most of which has no head or tail, now before you run you imaginations wild let me be clear that it is only thoughts I am talking about and  there are no parasitic bodies swimming through my head, not that I am aware of anyways. 
So along with all these mindless thoughts, that keep you awake, you come across things that make you wonder even more, for instance has anyone wondered how that 0.1% of germ never gets killed by any of the cleaning products and yet no one has still come up with the 100% formula. OK so you may think I am being pedantic so lets move on to another example, why do people over-complicate things which then makes it harder for them to think and then all hell breaks loose, where am I going with this? Read on, and it shall be clear. So what is it that makes us complicate a simple such as a simple text and then make it to be a one wrong word and your dead game? Why does a text have to mean a million things when it simply is a "Whatcha doin" one? Now, last I checked the answer to that question was usually a "nothing much" or if you wanted to be more specific you answered with that and not "hmmmm....why does he/she want to do know what I am doing? Does he/she like me or is this just to check if I have a social life or not?". The fact that it took you two days to answer that makes it awkward for the person sending the message and now he/she is confused to as what happened and if the whole message was taken out of context (which it in fact was and how) and if it should be something which should ever be repeated. There are many of us who just like to be friendly and connect with people and in times like these it is sadly taken in a wrong way and you doubt if being friendly is such a good thing after all. Then comes the notion that if someone replies to your text or for that matter even mail after so and so time you shall not reply immediately for that would make you seem desperate........desperate for what exactly is my question. The last I checked if I wanted to date someone, I would ask them out on a date and most likely physically present or at least on the phone and not on text. Has the whole realm of dating changed and I am not privy to it or am I the reading things wrong. In this age of social networking where a man was asked to apologise daily for a month to his estranged wife for posting comments about her on his Facebook profile or go to jail suggests that not only are we taking our problems to the public even our justice system is being ridiculed. The fact that Willi Wonka was termed eccentric is coming back to haunt us and prove that there is that bit of eccentricity in all of us. How that was relevant to my argument does not concern you. So, are we losing the plot of forming relationships even the basic ones of friendship and causing us more anxiety than is needed. Are we in this age to instant everything from food to messaging gone so impatient that we can't wait for things to happen? That we are so consumed with ourselves that we can't see anything as just being nice and simple and that it means just what it says nothing more nothing less? 
So the questions becomes endless and the answer far and few, yet one thing I am sure of, is that whatever the answers may be the foundation of any relationship is built on trust and loyalty and if I have offered you a hand in friendship these two things would have come along with it, test it at any given time. Till the next time, keep smiling. :)

Monday, February 20, 2012

Back to the Future.....Advice

The internet is full of entertainment, full of mystery, full of things which you come across and it makes you wonder. Yeah, this is going to be a change from my usual ramblings, where I drift off on a tangent....wait that might still happen, I can't guarantee that, but this might make more sense to most of us than my other pieces do, which may or may not entertain you if you really come here for the ramblings.
So any how, a few weeks ago I stumbled upon a podcast posted on twitter (which is awesome if you want to keep blabbering without anyone judging you...its like screaming out in the dark with no fear of who's listening) and I usually don't listen to podcasts which are not music related but somehow the topic interested me, it piqued my curiosity and it was refreshingly fresh to listen to it. The topic was letters and I really wanted to hear out what the content was for letters have always been something which have intrigued me, the whole emotions when you receive it to the reading of it to reading it once more is just something which we have lost over the years, and then there it was, the most intriguing part of the podcast, where you write to a younger you and give some advice.

So it got me thinking (yes this is my space and mostly everything is about me!), why are blue M&Ms not that common and I don't really like the yellow ones, wait that is not what we were talking about....why did the chicken cross the road? No, I am just playing with you, what it really got me thinking was what would I write to the 20 year old me, what would my advice to the younger me be? I have always believed that every thing we do is an experience, something which makes us stronger, shapes our character and hopefully in the process makes us a bit wiser (going by this blog am sure that is doubtful). So then, what would I say.....it would definitely be that keep doing what you are doing, that don't give up on anything, your work, your life, your relationships, that there are going to be ups and downs but giving up should not be an option. I would tell my younger self that things change, people come and people go and that holding on to thoughts might not be such a good idea but hey I think that is something the younger me has to learn by experience. I would tell him not to stop believing in hope, even though the current me gets sceptical about a lot of things, that somehow things will fall in place. I am bit unsure of miracles happening now, but I might add it just to keep the hope up, I mean the kid has to look forward to things. The last thing I would tell the younger me is that don't be afraid to live life, that go out and do whatever it is that you feel like as life has to be experienced at its fullest.

The blog I am talking about is written by Reena Mumbai and has many interesting entries and can be found at http://www.reena.me/. The mentioned podcast http://www.reena.me/2012/01/mumbai-talkies-podcast-episode-1.html.

I know this is a slight deviation from my regular ramblings but it was an idea that kept resounding in my head to not write about. I do promise to get back to my random ramblings soon. In the meantime, please do share your views on what you would write to your younger self and what you feel about the whole thing. Till next time....keep smiling! :)

Sunday, February 19, 2012

The stare down and what's wrong with it

So men will be men and this was just shown by the First Gentlemen, the husband of the Finnish President who was caught by Princess Mary looking down her cleavage. Yes, the "First Gentlemen" is actually his title and yet by nature he was caught on camera looking at things which are deemed very un-gentlemanly! So, does that mean that the line "All men are bastards" that women keep saying is true? Well, it isn't but the way we display things, and some of it on the camera, you can't help but accept it that the women folks might have a point. So, what is it about staring at that area of women that gets most of the men in trouble.....I mean really Princess Mary?? I would have been a bit proud if it was someone hotter such as Miranda Kerr or even Kate Upton, but Mary? Seriously? Things must have been getting bad for that dude to stoop so low. The fact that it beat the new about the lady falling down the stairs while texting caught on national television is another thing which talks about how the whole pervert thing rules, and that inspite of being caught on camera that dude had the balls to act as if nothing had happened. The smug look on his face while pretending to look away was just the thing that women needed to tell all the men everywhere around the world that they were the ones to be blamed as it was the first "Gentlemen" doing it on prime time TV and his action defined that of everyone of us. Now, its not like no one has tried doing what he did, but there is a place and a way of doing something like that and staring outright with a face like that is out of bound and downright being a pervert even in our books. Thou shalt not be caught staring and if thy does then he shalt face the wrath so says the code. I really wonder how awkward the conversation would have become after the incident not only for the said people involved but also the Finnish President, am sure the talks would have "finished" by then and the whole Danish contingent would be looking to get the hell out of Finland, for if not for Nokia what else would they be able to provide them, not butter to say the least or chocolates. Whilst the women had a go at every male being for being the pervert that they probably are.....the men had to take solace that at least being thrown into being important does not affect the pervertedness and that even if you are granted titles such being the "First Gentleman" you are in fact still the brother from the hood who can't resist looking down the blouse and while trying to avoid the situation have a smug face that probably needs to be slapped to get that expression off it. So gentlemen next time if you do intend to stare make sure you are not on national television and ensure that you don't have some lame ass title as First Gentleman coz you are infact just a punk ass senior citizen who is going to be called a pervert for the rest of your existence. And ladies, if Princess Mary is going to be the victim of such absurdity, its time you all start feeling good about yourselves, there is in fact a God and you do indeed have a chance. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Grinch who stole Valentine's Day

Ok, so after I posted my last entry there was an eerie silence, now don't get me wrong I am not implying that my posts create a buzz abuzz but still I get a few comments from random methods of communication letting me know that I had done a decent job or that I should go back to school and learn how to write again or the odd are you serious you wrote that and lets not forget the...what are you smoking these days and why have.....well you get the drift. So when there was a bit of silence it had me wondering if people really appreciated it that much that I had somehow left them awe-stricken dumbfounded state where words could not explain how brilliant the piece was.....and then I remembered I had written it and check the visitors graph thingy page which helps me track the 5 people who visit this page.....a few months ago there was about 50 hits on the page which had me a little awe-stricken and dumbfounded till I was informed how this friend of mine had to jump back in about 10 times to read one entry coz he/she (yes I will keep everyone guessing) read like they were in kindergarten (and then there was one...less visitor here). Anyhow I digress, as usual, so I checked and saw that there were quite a few hits so people had most likely out of sheer curiosity come to the blog (and then regretted it) and would have read a few lines if not the whole thing and then it happened, I got a mail from a friend asking me if I was fine and if being single was affecting me, a question that made me laugh for ages (no seriously it did) and then there was a whatsapp message telling me how they liked the article yet my humour seems to be depreciating like the polar caps and I should probably go find my mojo (sic)....which obviously reminded me of Austin Powers and I had another round of laughter session. I also got a couple of genuine compliments (again it was written ones and I being the nice person seem to take people on their word...which reminded me of Bee Gees and their version of the song "words" and made me smile) and now after all this I really have no idea what I started with. Wait...yeah, that's right.....so one of the feedback I got and this was actually in person, was about how the whole thing is way out of proportion (not my words) and that he (lets face it you would have expected it to be a he anyways) totally agrees that its all about commercialisation and has nothing to do with love and then gave me a spiel on the whole love being shallow and all the while I could just imagine that person being a Grinch....and wondered if the Grinch ever got bored of stealing Christmas and started hijacking other occasions. What would happen if Grinch stole valentine's day? I guess all the flowers would somehow just disappear on the day, the restaurants close due to unforeseen reasons, the chocolates....ok lets not mess with the chocolates. What would happen to the cheesiness of the situations that are played out on the day, the spoiling your loved one would have to happen on another day (kinda works out as why would you limit it to one day if you really do love them and want to spoil them) and what else.....it's been sometime since I have done this as is evident and regret it I do not even once. So what do you think would happen if the Grinch ever stole valentine's day and what would you do to get it back? Share your thoughts.....and you can be expressive, no one is judging. :) 

Friday, February 10, 2012

V-Day Voodoo

So it's that time of the year where people go all mushy and weird and pretend to bring on their rom-game on. Apparently also the time where the break-ups go flying through the roof coz the stress of keeping up with the trend just doesn't hold up for some. Yes, its that time of the year that was meant to celebrate Saint Valentine but we now celebrate the love of commercialism in form of flowers, sweets, gifts and fancy dinners. Now, before you go ahead and group me with the cynical lot, may I add that I have no qualms with people celebrating love and contrary to my single status I do believe that love should be celebrated but only when there is love. What started as a day to celebrate love has now become a whole week, with people coming up with days like propose day, chocolate day, teddy bear day, hug day, kiss day leading to the the final day itself (I could have missed something but that is because twitter is my sources for this particular thing). So now Hallmark has not one but quite a few days to cash in on the emotions of people who when have an extra dollar are happy to spend that dollar and a half just to prove that they can out do that next person. Gone are the days when a mix-tape and a box of chocolates would make be an ideal gift.....no apparently these days its all about that chic perfume or the designer accessories or that little piece of expensive cloth (no one really knows what purpose it serves) from Hermes. That followed by a nice dinner at a fancy place which you probably need to book at least a month in advance or spend the evening and probably the next few months listening to how so and so took so and so to the so and so place. If only this was the case, nowadays things have changed and even the guys expect the shabangg on the day, they want some fancy gift and love showered on them and behave in a way that Chuck Norris would and should  definitely get upset and pulverise half the universe. Actually now I am beginning to wonder if Chuck Norris celebrate Valentine's Day or if Saint Valentine actually celebrated Chuck Norris day when he walked the earth? Some questions, I reckon, are better left unanswered. So ladies and gents, my two cent advice to you is, enjoy the day, celebrate the love you have, don't go overboard with the fancy stuff coz true love is being true to yourself.
Keep Smiling  :)

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Play it like its Angry Birds

Angry Birds, the two words which brings in the chill and the urge to relapse to the most addictive game invented for the phone after snakes. The fact that a theme park was opened up last year based on the concept indicates how viral it went and what impact it had on the general masses all round the world. The money just keep rolling in and the addicts keep growing even now and we live in a world where the trends pass over faster than you could say twitter. So what is it about the game that has got people so hooked in, it is nothing but a game which uses violence and is a "me" against "them" theme where me are the birds (who are pretty angry) and them are the pigs (who probably are just pigs) and you just need to smash 'em pigs by launching yourself into them like kamikaze pilots. So what is it about the kamikaze birds and the evil grinning pigs that has made people into zombies playing on it day and night, draining their batteries quicker than the electric companies can say coal? Well its simple really, people like the whole me against them and smashing things. If we had the opportunity to do that in the real world with actual people (without serious consequences) I bet it would be money spinner. I mean just imagine launching yourself and head butting that annoying fella talking to the girl you like or launching yourself and kicking that girl who's been trying to come on to your boyfriend or smashing the person who thinks they know everything and annoy you with information you would not want to know even if your life depended on it coz it was boring as shit or those uninvited guest who not only show up but overstay their visit yet would not help you in anything and complain that they are not being looked after. Yeah, tell me you have never got the urge to smash someone in a situation like that with no repercussion and I shall anoint you the next Gandhi or something to that effect, if someone doesn't smash you for being that annoying that is. Let's face it, with the ever growing stress and the ever decreasing patience nowadays, we need to let off some steam and the game gives us that outlet, boxing would be a better option but you would actually have to get your backside off the couch/chair and go to a gym for that and that requires energy which you don't have and can't waste so you stick with the game. There may be several reasons to keep playing the game but as long as it keep you happy that's what counts and also it keeps you away from punching people in real life and getting arrested for assault so that makes it a win-win situation. So play away, stay happy and keep smiling! :)

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Lynx Angels are a myth - FACT!

Its been sometime since I have regularly used the train, and I have to say I certainly don't miss it at all. Public transport has in the recent years become a nightmare, its never on time, its always crowded, its dirty and it stinks....no I mean it really stinks like literally! No where else do you actually feel the need for fresh air and reprieve from the foul smell than being stuck in a train carriage probably pushed up against other people (something similar to a pack of sardines along with the smell), which could be a bit awkward if you were short as you might be stuck with your nose in someone's arm pits, some of which might be causing this so called arson attack. So when the whole war on the weapon of mass destruction started no wonder we didn't find anything because it was well hidden in amongst the very people looking for it! So where did it all go wrong is the question? Well the answer lies in that bottle of Deodorant...or there lack of. Yes, somehow some people forget that all that douching and no applying the deodorant makes you a bit of a douche and smell like.....real stank! Although to be fair to the some of the smelly douche bags it may also have to do with some real cheap no effect deodorant which pretty much evaporates the second it comes in contact with air, and yeah all that Axe/Lynx effect....only happens in the ad and would never happen and I repeat never ever happen in real life, even if you empty the whole bottle on you although it might just kill you. In my last post I had a bit of a rant about how people are turning to magazines to learn about how to live their lives, well who would have thunk that I would be chewing those words and saying this out but fellas - go through the grooming section and take a tip or two and well ladies if you don't smell like sugar and spice and real real nice sorry but I'll pass. Till the next time, stay fresh, smell good and keep smiling! :)

Monday, January 9, 2012

The Random String of Thoughts aka Life's a Pie 2012

So I am back again, yes it has just been a little over 24 hours since my last post but then there is still a bit going on in the head which I need to exhale out and as this happens to be my playground where my rules, my method and last but not least my insanity runs amok I can do whatever I please (that x on the top right side, left if you are a Mac user, has a purpose you know). Hold on hold on, am just messing with your heads, no need to get all upset and wander else where to find your dose of madness mayhem as no one makes it up much like me and you know it. :) Anyhow so after my entry yesterday, I was sent a link by a friend of mine (you know who you are!) which went on to list how making resolutions was not such a bad idea and how it tested our mettle and commitment (a word which apparently I can't relate to as put by a few people who shall also not be named) and yaadaa yaaadaaa gobble smack. Now, I really did highlight what all opportunity it presents and all that jazz and I still stick to what I wrote, however, what I do have to bring to notice is how all of a sudden we have taken all these Magazines dishing out advises as our Holy Grail (if I ever own a BBQ I shall name thy the Holy Grill and make sure the voice I useth not be shrill, ok enough of the madness back to the point) and slowly started to rely on them to how to live our lives. There was once a time where we relied on experience and our mistakes to learn about things, played with the new gadgets to learn how it worked (although that does get expensive at times, go read about it before you buy), took the plunge to ask out someone and feel the rejection or the over the top happiness depending how it went, went through the whole process of breaking up and heartbreak to find out the pain of it and not just read about things and make up our minds if its a good thing or not. What makes that person you can't see or know the best person to talk/comment/advice you about any of these things, whatever happened to the whole seeing in believing and feeling can be dangerous to your health....just kidding. Anyhow, if you are new to my blog, this is my space to rant on about things I probably just half care about, which leads me to another interesting bit which surprises me and amuses me all at the same time. A few people, who have come to know about me writing a blog have commented how they would like to read it so they can find out the real me, something which makes me wonder if what I write about or more importantly how I write things is leading people to create an impression of me which I may not be in actual existence? Is my virtual realm encroaching on the real life personality and making me something which changes from one person's view to the other? Should I have an entry where I explain who I think I am and if that even makes sense to all but me? Ah well that would be for another time I guess. Welcome to the random string of thoughts which may or may not make sense to you, welcome to life's a pie in 2012 for this year these string of thoughts are going to run wild and hopefully make for a nice bit of reading just of the random kind. Keep Smiling :)

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Happy New Year and Happy New Challenges

And so we are well into 2012 with a week gone by and all the excitement of the changes that comes and goes, has passed over and its back to the grind with the holiday season well and truly over. So while some of us were busy writing down/up those resolutions on what we want to achieve in this year (more likely what we think we would like to achieve but given up on it some years ago) and some of us reflecting on what the year gone past and what we achieved in it (because by then it becomes a bit of task going through and checking your Facebook status updates and sorting out the achievements which actually were not a figment of your imagination but happened in real life). The rest of us, yours truly included, just move enjoying what becomes a long holiday and an excellent excuse to sleep in, laze around reading a book, watching a movie and still wishing that food would appear magically with a spell or two. Whilst not an avid fan of making new year's resolutions, and the fact that hardly anyone sticks to it past the month of January if not past a week in the month of January, it really does bring in the opportunity to realise the things you have fallen short of in your list of things to do while you are still moving condition. It also gives you an insight of your weaknesses which unfortunately you can't use (or probably should not use) in your interview question of "What do you think are your weaknesses?" as, replying "Well I have been trying to lose weight for the last 5 years but really have done the opposite and gained more weight" just makes you seem like a bit of a loser (not of the weight though). The one thing that you could do instead of making a huge list is come up with three to four things and put it up as a challenge, invite your friends to participate with you and beat their sorry asses to it (for more convincing ideas to stick to your resolutions, I recommend reading a friend's blog entry on the very topic which can be found on my blog list called "Lessons in Three"). So what am I doing this year, given that I don't "maketh" any of them resolutions yet still "talketh" about them, well nothing in particular but the usual as I have been doing for the last couple of years, I pick up one random challenge every 3-4 months and try to complete that and then move on to the next one, some of them are short term ones, some just a bit of a change to the lifestyle and some that can go for some time to achieve fully. The key to completing whatever you pick is to give yourself time to think and plan before you jump into it. So bring on 2012 and bring on the challenges and lets make a meal out of it (weight loss is something that is not on my non-existent list again this year). I wish you all the best this year and remember the two key things for this year - Be Happy and Keep Smiling! :) P.S: I have also signed up for the fiftyfifty.me challenge where you need to read fifty books and watch fifty movies in the year 2012. If you think you are up for it, lets bring it on! :)