Ra.One - The raving review that wasn't

Ok, so this one would hold no interest for those who do not watch Bollywood flicks. I say that with so much conviction, like anyone was interested in reading what I have written before but then if a lot of movies being made, irrespective of the their geographical origin, have viewers, my writing would be a relief sent from heaven for such.
Anyhow, coming back to why I am writing this entry, I happened to watch the extravagantly expensive production made by none other than the one called SRK (if you are confused on who that is....well you definitely don't have any idea of Bollywood)called Ra.One. Now, Ra.One could just have been called Raavan (remember that dude with the 10 heads and a mean streak who while being a King resorted to kidnapping other people's wives himself, serious lack of Human Resources planning in that kingdom) except a movie by that name came out not long ago and which starred Abhishek Bachchan, and now need I say about how it fared?
Ra.One it seems was Shahrukh's dream project and he really wanted to make it for his kids as he claimed, yet the first two minutes in, the dialogues were so double meaning that a majority of parents would have cringed in their seats not knowing if they should cover their kid's ears or eyes or just make their way to the exit, the last not being such a feasible option as there would have been a mad rush to exit at that point of time anyways.
Now we could do the whole what went wrong with the flick, that was to re-define the way Bollywood made movies and that super-heroes were not just confined to the self-confessed saviours of the world - the Americans, and could be better off going on to the what went right with it. So here is my list of what I thought was the positives from Ra.One
Getting Akon to sing Chammak Challo, now none of us and I mean none of us saw this
coming and did Akon (and the rest of the Ra.One team) pull it off. The song in
hindsight would be nothing as good as it is.

The whole video game concept, yes it was different although how it was handled here
is a totally different conversation.

The whole pixelated distortion of the faces when punched and otherwise looked
pretty good, to me at least.

Chitti (Rajnikanth)

Did I mention the song Chammak Challo?

That was about all I could find in a movie that ran for 2 hours and 45 minutes, a movie that was publicised in any and all avenues possible and SRK went on a marketing madness to pull the crowd to the cinemas yet he forgot the very basic thing that would have made this a truly re-defining way to make cinema in India - a proper STORY. The team of Ra.One went with the whole Good vs. Evil way in the same as the rest, heck Raavan had a much tighter storyline than this. The movie borrows a lot and when I say a lot I mean a lot of plots from the various super-hero flicks which could be another reason it leaves the audience leaving confused and wanting to see some rational although most of us went looking for none. The dialogues are so clichéd it makes you cringe in your seat and wonder if just some of that money spent on production could have be better utilised in getting a someone who could pen some proper lines. The whole Kareena making up words for abuse was good in the Golmaal series as it was different and new, whereas it was just used and abused in Ra.One. Some of the scenes were stretched longer than the value for money chewing gums and became rather annoying than awe-inspiring.
Overall, Ra.One is the present age Roop Ki Rani Chooron Ka Raja (don't remember that one? Had Anil Kapoor and Sridevi and was one of the most expensive movies made by Boney Kapoor, and had left him out of the business for a long time too) and although it may make its money and not see the same fate as the later the only difference that lies between the two is the larger than life appeal SRK has over his fans.
This one is only for the SRK fans and am sure they would be loving the flick, the rest of us have endured the pain and moved on for now.