Mirror Mirror on the Wall, What is the Purpose of this All?

Time and again, every now and then, there is that question which troubles most of us....no I am not referring to the which came first the chicken or the egg, hell I wouldn't give two thoughts about it as long as it is deliciously cooked. No, it isn't why did the chicken cross the road either.....I am seriously starting to feel for the chickens now, not only do they have to turn into food, their every move is under the scanner, the poor critters. The question is "What the hell am I doing with my life", now it doesn't have to be in those same words, some people who try to be sophisticated describe it with "What is the purpose of life", as if putting in those words makes it easier to get the answer to the penultimate question of "Who wants to be a Millionaire" except the winner doesn't get the million dollars but at least knows the "purpose" of their existence.
We all try and cover up this hole in different ways, some mask it with being philosophical about it, some turn to God, some to spirituality, some to drugs, some to things which further confuses the jebesus out of their lives like Scientology, others usually make up for it in the good ol' American way of living.....Consumerism. Oh yeah, God Bless America and consumerism for if we have all the material things in life why else would we be complaining about a question that can't even make you win a million dollars in a reality show where that kid off the slum got nicked by the police for answering all the questions correctly. Oh wait...that was a movie and not real by any accounts, my apologies. Still, buying stuff we don't need and would not use after two days really does solve our problems because for those two days we get so busy trying to work it out we don't have time to think and then comes the part where the credit card bills start to come in and you realise that the thing you just bought requires you to work hard for the next couple of months to pay off keeping you away from the product and in turn from thinking about that dreaded question. When the product is paid off, out comes a new one which you just can't resist but to buy and we are off in the, dare I say, vicious circle.
All this writing really brings me to the question, "why the hell am I writing this?" and if you have read it thus far, this would be the perfect time to start thinking about what in the world were you thinking of continuing to read past the four lines.
In any case, if you do find out the answer to "THE" question, please pass it along, remember you are not going to win a million dollars for it and if you do, it probably is leprechauns gold.

The Apocalyptic Saga

Last night I slept with a great anticipation that this morning the breakfast would be in heaven for that is what the news made me believe in the last few weeks. The end of the world is here and it shall strike on 21 May 2011 claimed a group of Christian fundamentalists thereby generating a mixture of anxiety, fear, sadness, relief, joy among the various human entities depending on the conditions of their living and the quality of their lives. As much as I would like to elaborate on that point I would rather not as all it does is make people sad, angry, anxious, relieved and happy depending on the conditions of their lives and the quality of their living.
So, when I got up this morning (surprise surprise) I was kind of disappointed to see that it was the normal (if I am allowed to use that word) kind of morning and nothing had changed although it did seem a bit sunny which is getting unusual for a Melbourne morning but apart from that zilch...no change! So the optimist that I am I thought I might as well sleep off a little more who knows maybe the second coming of Jesus might just be running on the Indian Standard Time and if there is anything we know about turning up on time is that it is utterly irrelevant. A few hours later, I wake up again to find that nothing has changed, except the sun has disappeared bringing normalcy to the only oddity of the whole situation. So now I am awake wondering if I should have something to eat or not as I really want to try out the menu in Casa Dela Heaven but am also apprehensive if its all going to be just honey and milk as mentioned in the scriptures and being not too an avid fan of the either if I should probably have a snack.
While I decide that, I have to admit that I am utterly disappointed at these hope inspiring yet never actually happening prophecies and that too by different groups. First it was a group of (fundamentalist? or probably just mental) scientists who claimed a reactor would burst wiping out the total population of the world with so much fanfare that my neighbour actually contemplated resigning from his job oblivious to the fact that he was fired for over 6 months (no I don't live next to that guy from the movie Office Space!). That reactor did not burst and the only causality that really occurred was the realisation of the said neighbour finding out he didn't really have a job and his mortgage payment was delayed by a few months.....six to be precise.
So, as we wait for this prophecy to be rubbished I think I am going to go out and have a bit of a party as I somehow still have a life (surprise surprise) even though the world might be coming to an end.

The Tales of the Poor

A few years ago an Indian politician and the leader of the second largest political party got into trouble when he uttered the one true and possibly the only logical thing, at least in his political life. That line loosely translated in English is something like, "Money might not be God but by God it isn't less than that either". Well come to think of it, that actually is the literal translation of what he said and I am seriously contemplating a career in translation after this feat.
So you may be wondering where I am going on with this and how does it matter when this was said in what is light years ago in India. Well my dear readers and non-readers, mostly non-readers, the point is that when some blessed people who go around claiming that money doesn't buy happiness they actually mean that "Holy shit I am so broke I need to guilt trip someone so they can give me some money". That my dear friends and non-friends, mostly non-friends (I might have made up that word....may have), is the fact and today that has been validated by none other than the honourable minister of finance or in simple words the Treasurer (of Australia), Mr Wayne Swan who has told us poor, and I mean it in a literal way, souls that you should not be fooling yourself into thinking you are rich even if you are earning $150,000 a year while presenting the budget for the year. I am still trying to figure out what that means for me personally as I am not really close to that mark as yet and if it should really affect me as such considering I was never under the illusion that I am rich. After all if you aren't a Bill Gates, a Steve Jobs or well even a Donald Trump then why would you even bother using a term which changes the bracket more often than a mirage in a desert, just ask one of the Winklevoss twins and they would tell you or probably get a book written and have a movie made and then try to sue the author and the director for taking the idea from them and not giving them the finished product. Zuckerburg meanwhile is multiplying the contentious fortune faster than the rabbits and is reportedly passing on my profile pics to advertisers and actually making money from my face while I am posting pictures taken on a friend's camera as I am too poor, and a tad bit more after today, to actually afford a decent camera.
So my dear poor friends and much more poor friend, mostly much more poor friends, if you really are planning to make it rich, I suggest you do it as a secret sting op rather than announce it to the world because once you have made your intentions public the mirage is going to fade and the bar raised.

Royal Wedding and a Sea Funeral

This year seems to keep on being eventful for one reason or the other good or bad. This past week added to the list a few things which would be remembered for quite some time to come. The weekend started off with the Royal Wedding and the only way you could have avoided hearing anything about it was if you were a hermit and had no form of communication with the outside world and none whatsoever with women, as every other reference made way to the couple in the midst of the whole drama. The TV ratings would have soared and every single guy in their right mind would have contributed to the National Geo breaking records just to avoid hearing anything about it for at least two weeks prior.
The Seal team the following Monday made sure we would not discuss the royal wedding by gatecrashing the royal couples after party with a groundbreaking, involving a crashing chopper thus giving the term a literal meaning, news by assasinating Americas Public Enemy number One, Saddam Hussein......errr...no sorry that was a couple of years ago, it was Osama Bin Laden this time. Yes, after almost 11 years and 5 reports of him being dead some being of natural causes, the American troops finally won the famous hide and seek game and surprise surprise it didn't come in a cave in the remote hills of Afghanistan but in the dead (no pun intended) silent town of Abbotabad barely a few stones throw away from a military base. Now before we get all judgmental about the mental-lity of the Pakistani Army and it's alleged association with terrorist groups, you have to give all the credit, or whatever you can muster up, to Bin Laden for coming up with the bright idea of building a $1 million mansion right next to the military base for who would have thought the man with the multi million $$ reward on his head would be bunked up at that odd looking expensive compound next door to the base which may I add doesn't even have a proper phone line forget a decent internet connection.
There still seems to be the controversy that all this is just a big gimmick and that it is all but just a ploy to kickstart the re-election campaign and all but lets not get into all that now.
Here's just hoping Hugh Grant doesn't get the idea of script and give us a "Royal Wedding and a Sea Funeral"

Grinch Goes Easter

Its that time of the year again where the chocolates suddenly start multiplying like rabbits and for an odd reason you may find them in that very shape too. Yes, there are also egg shaped chocolates and you become a kid looking in nooks and corners to find one to enjoy it. Oh yeah, Easter is round the corner and for someone like me its all about chocolates really. But wait, as for every Christmas there's a grinch, it seems the grinch has found his way to Easter too. "What in the world are you rambling about dude?" you may ask and I will gladly of assistance to sort the ignorant streak out of you......or try.....and give up. I am certainly not dying on lost causes....no way! Any how coming back to the grinch of Easter, an academic from the University of Melbourne has gone around making claims the innocent Easter Bunny of making kids fat. Preposterous is the first word that comes to the mind, for in the world of McDonalds (sorry Ronald, you know I love your burgers yet the public demands you be quoted when we talk about fat people), KFC (you probably had it coming Col. Sanders with that new no bread burger!) and Subway....wait that last one is supposed to be healthy if you take the sauces and the bread and the cheese and the salt n pepper and just leave.....the salads/veggies in all its blandness..surprise surprise!
The same dude to come up with this "allegation" was responsible for insinuating that Santa Clause promotes obesity, yes that very same Santa who brings gifts for the nice and well we never know what happens to the naughty......may be they just grow up and become Simon Cowell and annoy everyone around them. This guy probably also comes in the later category and the missing milk and cookie along with the missing gift probably justifies his actions, at least in his eyes. He could have been forgiven and everything forgotten about his absurd accusation had he not supported the idea of replacing the chocolate egg hunt with brussel sprouts hunt!! I can probably predict the outcome of that hunt, withering brussel sprouts in places no one ever tried looking and went to the bakery to buy the chocolate hot cross buns, which sounds like a might fine idea right now. So, while you sit cursing and writing hate mails (hopefully not to me) I shall go and scoff down some of those choc hot cross buns!
Have a Happy Easter and break and drive safe! :)

A-D-Dictionary

In the last couple of weeks with the gala festival otherwise known as the Cricket World Cup, I noticed that most of us missed a few things which could change the course of history....or well may be not so much history as literature. Yes, the English language has had a few additions in that forgotten book (now available on web and electronic formats) called the Dictionary. Before "Google" became a verb and pretty much a way of life, the common literate folks used to refer to "the dictionary" to actually validate that the word existed. Good old Oxford and Webster were the ones who created, maintained and pretty much monopolised this market and Oxford still believes it has the complete authority (which it does) to accept what or what not is a legitimate word. The one role of the dictionary among many others was to ensure that scrabble players did not end up killing each other for if you ever played with Mike (name not changed for any reason other than to take out your grudge) you would have developed a murderous tendency too, but lets not delve into that.
Oxford recently recognised the following words as being an actual word and no more just a human uttering silly noises, the words are - LoL (no I am serious...stop laughing), OMG (I am sure there was a F in there somewhere but we shall be content with this) and FYI (can't believe all the corporates were actually using a bogus word on official communications). FYI, OMG what a joke. LoL! And the scrabble war gets that bit more nastier. I really wonder if WTF (or for the mild ones WTH) is experiencing right now? Does it not feel like the snub of the decade for it has been there as long as OMG and lets be honest has been better used if not extensively flashed at very critical junctions of the twisted turn of events we call life. So here's my vote going out to WTF to be included in the next batch for how else would TGIF be TGIF if the previous days were not WTF!

Chak De Dhoni

I can keep watching this over n over for quite sometime.....



चक दे धोनी!! जय हिंद!!! :)